Tag Archives: blonde chick wisdom

International Women’s Day: 2016

Celebrating-International-Womens-Day-2014-650x410Today is a day of excitement, opportunity, and progress. Today is International Woman’s Day. Why is this important?

Because women still don’t have equal pay. Because people are more concerned with how Hillary looks than what Trump says. Because women in the U.S. have only been able to vote since 1920, less than 100 years. Because women grow humans in their bodies. Because women suffer pain that men can never experience. Because women are strong, we are built this way. Because women should have the same rights as men everywhere. Because women should be given the same opportunities to reach their potential.

The experiences privileged to women know no boundaries. You can’t build walls, or turn people away from the shared experience united in sisterhood.  International Women’s Day reminds us of the inequalities that are easily forgotten in the day to day. Women face barriers in education, in the workplace, in family planning, and in career opportunities. This day is about uniting here and across the globe to bring a voice to those who don’t have one. IWD is a day of empowerment, of awareness and of celebration.

‘My hope is that then one day we won’t need this special day at all. In reality, we should be having conversations about women’s achievements every day of the year if we are to really bring about change. But unfortunately, we still need International Women’s Day in 2016. We need it until we have an equal number of women in leadership positions, women earning the same as men for the same work, and women across the world having the same rights as men. Because until that happens, every other day of the year is basically International Men’s Day.’
Quote by Janneke Niessen, European Digital Woman of the Year and is co-founder of Inspiring Fifty and Improve Digital

photo cred: http://guardianlv.com/2014/03/celebrating-international-womens-day-2014/

The Unspoken Pressure

Many of the things I’ve learned since coming to Law School have nothing to do with the judicial system. Yes, of course, I’ve learned a ton in that regard, but more importantly I’ve learned a lot about myself. It’s easy to succumb to unspoken pressure when you’re in an environment of people who are extremely intelligent, driven and opinionated.  By pressure, I mean the feeling of needing to compete, of seeking peer approval or of feeling like you have to pursue a certain path in order to be successful. (a.k.a pay back your student loans).

Recently, I was able to meet with an attorney for a ‘mock’ interview. It was a great opportunity to sharpen my skills while getting prepared for pursuing internships or experience. One of the things he said to me (I’m paraphrasing) was that you have to stay true to who you are and what you want to do. This is something I always thought I knew. Yet, after the pleasantries were exchanged and I shook his hand. I went to my car and cried. I cried thinking, “What have I done?” “Why am I here?” “Why have I made the choice to take on more student loan debt?” “Why am I in Law School?”

Doubt started to overwhelm me. I thought about going home and giving up for the day. After an internal monolog, I pulled it together and went to school. Resolving to not get caught up in the idea of what other people are doing, which is much easier said than done.

I’ve known for quite some time that I don’t want a conventional career. (For goodness sakes, I was a theater major). I refuse to create a life dedicated to another [wo]man’s dollar or another [wo]man’s dream. With that mentality often comes uncertainty, instability, and sacrifice. These words have never really scared me. On the contrary, these words excite me.

I went to Law School to gain the skills to catapult my love for serving others into helping turn their dreams of entrepreneurship, of entertainment, of artistry into realities. Ultimately, I want to advocate for, protect, and serve creative geniuses.

I’m excited to be on this journey. I’m grateful for the opportunity. Although there is much uncertainty, instability, and sacrifice involved I know I made the right choice. Others may think I’m crazy or wonder about me, but I’ll remain true to myself, my unique talents, and the dreams that God has given me.

xoxo,

BC

“First, do no harm”

“First, do no harm” is used in the medical profession as a guiding principle for physicians that, whatever the situation, the patient’s well-being is the primary consideration. I understand this is used by physicians in a literal life or death situation, but can’t it also be used for ourselves in every aspect of our lives?

Shouldn’t we be more in tune to whether or not the decisions we make are going to impact us negatively or even permanently disable us from living the life we’ve imagined? This life I’m referring to is above and beyond a monetary or materialistic gain. It’s about living a life worth living, the life you were meant to live. If you’re like me then the worst, most crippling feeling in the world is to be a cog in someone else’s machine. As I make decisions I keep this very, real fear in mind in order to ensure I don’t lead down that path professionally and/or personally.

Ultimately when I say, ‘first, do no harm’ I’m suggesting that when you are creating your goals you must be mindful of every choice you make. Will it impact your family? Will it limit your ability to give back? Will it allow you to go on that vacation that you’re yearning for? Keep your priorities in order and make your decisions surrounding those. No judgement here as to what those are. Just consider what harm really means for your life and who could suffer as a result.

xoxo,

Blonde Chick

Nothing is Missing

Last Friday I received one of my weekly TUT messages, read below:

Know what’s missing from most people’s live? The realization that nothing is missing from their lives. You already have whatever you may be looking for.

I read this about a dozen times. I agree with the message completely. Yet, something didn’t quite sit right. For me, success and fulfillment are only achieved if I’m progressing forward. While I think this message is an important reminder to be grateful. It also puts things into perspective when thinking about all the ‘wants’ vs. needs in life. (If you’re reading this then you already have a better quality of life than most in the world.) 

So my big takeaway – being grateful doesn’t require you to lower your standards. It’s similar to the methodology of SCRUM, in that you check-in on your progress to ensure you’re still headed in the right direction.

Keep moving forward, be grateful for where you are and what you have. Although nothing essential may be missing it is however, essential to keep moving forward in pursuing your goals. Realizing that you have it great now is part of having a grateful heart and attitude at all times.

xoxo,

Blonde Chick

 

Anything Can Happen…and It Usually Will

As I laid around this past Sunday after celebrating the Mothers in my life, I thought just how lucky I was. Not in the usual way of feeling lucky or blessed, but in a new way. How lucky am I to know that anything can happen and actually believe that it will. The world is cruel, harsh and cold. Even in the business world it’s cruel, harsh and cold. People are (no matter what your mission statement says) in it for themselves or their families.

Living in a society that is less human and more social media can cause you to lose hope or sight of your why.  So how do I keep my thinking elevated? How do I sit back, smile and sigh knowing that while now is good the best is yet to come? My perspective is how. I can control how I choose to see things. Pain is inevitable if only temporary so why let one little burden bury me? I won’t. I refuse. I keep progressing forward. Check out my 3 quick tips on how stay positive knowing that anything will happen.

My perspective is how. I can control how I choose to see things. Pain is inevitable if only temporary so why let one little burden bury me? I won’t. I refuse. I keep progressing forward.

Check out my 3 quick tips on how I stay positive with that ‘knowing anything will happen’ attitude:

1. My sister (Amber) is an amazing woman with four adorable little kids. She not only writes, runs and manages her home, but she makes time for me, pretty much every day! This time together, although brief, helps me to redirect my thoughts and keep my goals on track. She recently wrote a blog, Co-Creation, that illustrates the importance of working together versus taking on the mountains in our life alone. By having someone to continually co-create with and to offer fresh perspective keeps me outward looking rather than festering inwardly. She should win ‘saint of the year’ for all the venting rants she hears from me on a weekly, if not daily basis! Moral of the story – find your Amber, someone to help challenge your perspective while offering a place of accountability and trust as it relates to your goals.

2. Just show up. This can be the hardest advice to take especially after a hard day, night, week, year etc… Yet, just showing up keeps you moving even if the direction will ultimately change. I can’t tell you how many times this has proven the difference between my success and my failure. I’ll be the first to admit that I’m not the most talented, the most disciplined, the smartest, but I always show up when it comes to going after my goals. Your character is often defined by doing what you have to even (especially) when you don’t want to. So get out of bed, put that smile on and show up! Any day is a new day to allow anything to happen. Don’t miss it by missing out.

3. Change your perspective. You are in control of your thoughts, your actions, and your mouth, which in turn is your happiness. It can be cliche to talk about happiness in this ethereal way. However, your happiness can’t be measured in material items, it can’t be measured in Instagram hearts, it can’t be quantified. As life gets rough, as it always will, change the way you look at the situation. In the book, Before Happiness, it describes what a positive genius is and how to be one. If you can learn to see the world through a positive lens, not rose-colored, only then can you summon all your motivation, emotion, and intelligence to achieve your personal and professional goals. Next time you’re faced with an obstacle flip it upside down and look at the possible positive outcomes. Flip it and reverse it (your perspective that is).

 

Me first.

There are so many times in my young life where I’ve sought for clarity and wisdom. Looking for a way to make tough decisions and feel confident in the choices I’ve made. While I do seek council, weigh the options and meet with new people as ways to gain more insight, I still find myself apologizing for the choices I make. Why??

I think we, women especially, are subconsciously trained to be apologetic if/when they put themselves first.  Yet, I know as a woman, when I think of myself first then I know I can be my best for others. Think of traveling. When you are on a plane who do they instruct that you secure oxygen for first? Yourself before anyone else. So in our life as ‘selfish’ as it sounds you have to secure yourself first.

 

 

 

Double-Double Motivation

I was at a In-N-Out in Northern California enjoying a juicy, double-double while, of course, people watching. If you’ve ever been to an In-N-Out then you know they are always busy. Doesn’t matter what time of day it is, it always seems to be moving at a high pace with a long line of hungry people. As I’m sitting there internally lamenting as to why they don’t have these in the Midwest, I noticed one of the employees. He was outstanding. He was rushing around with an intentional kind word to all, picking up empty ketchup containers, offering refills and more napkins.

I don’t eat fast food much. Yet, I’ve never experienced service like this! Even at a nice restaurant, you don’t always get treated in this way. He was constantly on the move. I couldn’t help to think of Seth Godin’s, Linchpin when watching him work. Now, I’m not here to pass judgement, but I could guess that this man’s ambition was to not work at In-N-Out the rest of his life. Yet, while he was there he was giving his employer his best work and it was obvious. He was inspiring.

In the book, Godin describes what makes someone a Linchpin. Essentially, these people are intrinsically motivated, they don’t have to be given a rule book in order to figure out what to do.  They delight and challenge their customers and peers. They become vital to the organizations where they work. They don’t hold back and they give their best no matter what the task.

Now you may be looking at your current job as the stop before your career, you know the placeholder job. You may have the attitude that once you land your dream job you’ll work really hard, you’ll become indispensable etc. Can you imagine what your current job or place in life could be if you just shifted your attitude to align to that of a Linchpins? If you started to think and act like the guy at In-N-Out your future is limitless. Who knows, maybe one day he’ll own his own franchise?

The people you work with today are impacted by you, the company you spend time with today is impacted. Don’t you want them to be impacted positively? Taking on the attitude of a Linchpin will make you happier and more fulfilled, which in turn, will make the world a better place. I know that is a bit cliche – but one man really did change the world. Every day is a gift, and every opportunity to give your best shouldn’t be wasted waiting for the perceived ‘better thing.’